Saturday Confessions

OK.  Here it is.  I am not perfect.  I know at least several of you are shocked.  I do know you will get through it... with time! HA

In the past, there have been comments that are so complimentary of my "mothering" that I have been left feeling guilty!  So here it is... I am starting off the new year with the main confession of my mothering short coming... I get highly irritated with my children... I mean highly.  Whew.  There it is.  You now know I am far from perfect... the pressure is gone!

I get HIGHLY irritated when Abby starts arguing with me 3 minutes after being awake.  I get HIGHLY irritated when she is still arguing with me on the way to school 50 minutes later.  I get way HIGHLY irritated when she continues arguing with me 1 minutes after getting back in the car after school.  It goes something like this:

6:30 a.m. Me-  "Good Morning Precious One"
               Abby- "I am NOT precious!"
6:35 a.m.  Me- "You need to wear pants today, it's cold outside."
                Abby- "I don't want to wear pants and it's not cold."
6:45 a.m.  Me- "Here is your breakfast, sit down and eat."
                Abby- "I don't want breakfast."  "I want to buy my lunch today."
                 Me- "You are taking your lunch today."
                Abby-" Why do I have to take my lunch? I don't want to take my lunch."
                Me- "You take your lunch so you have good food to eat."
               Abby- "I don't want to eat."
Get the picture?  And this is EVERY DAY!

Now onto the other little one... Marc Parker.  I get HIGHLY irritated that he SCREAMS ALL THE TIME!  WORDS MUST START COMING SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He screams when Abby says "Good Night" to him.  He screams when Abby looks at him.  He screams when Abby touches him.  He screams when he doesn't get the food he wants.  He screams when he wakes from a nap.  He screams.  It's like nails on a chalk board to my soul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So there.  My children are not perfect and I am not perfect.  I am HOPING and PRAYING for more wisdom in how to handle such things because I truly would like to feel irritated less.  But for now, I guess I am just imperfect. 

Now onto other and lighter confessions-  I love unsharpened pencils.  I know.  Crazy.  Odd.  Random.  But there is something about pencils with cool patterns on them that are not sharpened that I would just like hoard.  I am drawn to them.  I know... your image of me is falling apart quickly.  I also really love writting with pencils.  I am a horrible speller.  You probably know this about me as you have read many of my mispellings.  Yes, I went to journalism school at the University of North Carolina and I am still a horrible speller.  And my new version of blogger does not have spell check anymore.  My husband is an excellent speller and he often points out my mistakes and so that helps.  To pass the journalism program you have to take this HORRID spelling test thats like 20 pages... confession number three- I had to take the test THREE times.  I was a basket case.  But I finally passed!  I am a hair nightmare!  I have hated my hair... since I was born.  Seriously.  You think I'd be over it by now... but I am not. It's kinda thin... not real brown and not real blonde... just muddy in the middle... and it has enough wave in it to not starighten well and not be curly either.  And I know I mispelled curlie/curley/curly (they all look wrong to me... I don't know... maybe it was actually right!).  And that's all I am going to say about that. 

I guess that is enough for now.  I am hoping that all of you know now that I am far from perfect.  So now I can go on posting without the fear of misleading any of you! 

Lots of love... lots... and thank you for loving me!

Where The Road Takes Us

Happy New Year!  I have to say I am pretty excited to be heading into a new year.  I am still spinning from the last one and the realization that it has passed.  When did time start moving so quickly?

I took the picture in my header this fall in Virginia when we visited my parents for Thanksgiving.  The sky was amazing.  It was so cold and I must have stopped at least 15 times on the side of the road to take pictures.  Abby started whinning, "AgAIN...????" every time I pulled over!  It was pretty funny.  But I love this picture.  I love the sky, so full of movement, color, depth, power, God's presence.  I love the road lying there, empty... just waiting.  It seemed like the perfect picture to start off the year with... God's presence and beauty and the road He is waiting to lead us down... just lying there... waiting... full of turns, bumps, smooth spots, promise, and a glorious destination with beauty all along the way!

2009 was a full year... full of change, challenges, growth, love, joy, and God.  He was everywhere.  He drew us closer to Him and showed Himself to us in audacious ways!  I can't wait to see what He has in store for us in 2010!

Instead of offering to you the ways I hope to improve over the next year... I offer you a challenge.  I challenge you to seek the Lord as you never have before... even if you don't believe in Him... for in seeking Him... you will find Him.  There is no selfish motive behind this challenge... only the desire for you to be blown away by a God who longs to walk with you each day.  What do you have to lose?  Nothing.  And what do you have to gain?  EVERYTHING!

Happy New Year.

Merry Christmas!

It has been BUSY BUSY BUSY and has been very hard for me to get the pictures downloaded, edited, and blogged!  Sorry for those of you who have been lurking in the shadows waiting patiently! :0)

There were many craft activities leading up to Christmas.  We had an earring festivity and we all made earrings!  Abby loves her first official "dangles" and wants to wear them every day.  I actually just realized that the pic of Campbell and myself is of another craft where we made crystal dangles from crystals I got in Spain to use for the center piece for the Christmas Eve party.

And this craft was the most fun and rewarding... making fabric head bands!   I am totally addicted to this fabric thing!  Loving it!  Every one made one and then Campbell and I made more for gifts after the girls went to bed... instead of wrapping presents!

Speaking of presents, Christmas morning was fun and it was fun to watch the kids open their gifts.  My mom sent me a gag gift of a false teeth ice mold (inside joke)... that was the funniest gift!  Marc wasn't really into opening his, Abby couldn't open enough, and Brenda soaked in every one!

My dad was here from Alabama and he totally fell in love with Brenda... of course.  I sang at our Christmas Eve service and he was there, that was cool... he cried... so sweet. :0)  Our Christmas Eve party was fun with over 30 people stopping by but noone ate!  We have a freezer full of food... oh well... must have another party!

That's a quick run down... hopefully things will slow down a bit and I can be a better blogger!  We are off to hibachi tonight... Abby and Marc love the fire onion volcano... we'll see what Brenda thinks!  Hugs to you!

Last Week... My friend Campbell came over and brought a gingerbread house to do with the girls!

I confess... I have NEVER made a gingerbread house... such sadness! 

They all had a good time and it came out pretty good!

Friday Morning... Hot cinnamon rolls, cold blueberries, and dancing to

"Frostie The Snowman" in the kitchen in our pajamas!

Saturday... Don coordinates a friend gathering, sweet friends gather,

then later that afternoon... the piano arrives!  It was built in 1905 in Birmingham, Al...

and it was an instant hit with everyone in the house.  Brenda ran upstairs and came

back down with sheet music and played, "Joy To The World", for us all.  It was totally sweet.

Christmas suckers from Aunt Shae Shae!  Saturday night we went to a Jars of Clay concert with

Bebo Norman... it was incredible and the girls loved it. 

Sunday... worship, lunch, and family nap (although Fly Boy had to fly).

At church SO MANY of our friends were in tears meeting Brenda.  Several grown men having lengthy conversations about her and the process with Fly Boy and really being moved.  Our friend's love for her just overwhelms me.  One asked her size to buy her some clothes, another is monograming something for her, and another is coming to take us to breakfast in the morning and then to buy her an outfit.  God is so amazing.  The love he continues to pour out upon us through our friends just continues to humble me... fill me... inspire me!  I am still smiling... big!

Love to you all... Dawn

My Girl

Abby is watching.  Abby is taking it in.  Abby is loving Brenda being here.  Abby is starting to copy.

Brenda makes her bed in the morning.  Abby made her bed yesterday before going to school.
Brenda dresses herself.  Abby dressed herself yesterday and took much pride in letting me know so.  She usually asks me to help her get her pajama shirt off.  "You can do that yourself Abby," I respond.  "I NEED your help mommy!" she replies and then enters the daily morning tension.  It continues with her wanting help getting her shirt on (which she can do) and then buttoning her pants (which she can also do although it is trying for her).  I ALWAYS struggle with the following... does she feel rejected when I won't help her?  When I help her, everything is much more smooth.  Does it make her feel loved when I help her?  Is that her love language?  Or am I enabling her?  Or is she just being controlling, manipulating, and lazy?  This is just PART of the daily battle I have in my head for her/with her each day.

So I was thrilled when she did it all by herself... INCLUDING getting her jacket on by herself that usually causes a good moment of tension with us as she insists she can't do it and I insist she can.  She was proud of herself.  She was a big girl... like Brenda.  And she didn't even mention she had made her bed... I noticed that when I walked by her room to go downstairs and so of course I had to make a big deal out of it and she gave me a sweet smile.

She wants to wear her hair like I have fixed Brendas.  She wants to hold Brenda's hand.  She wants to sleep in the guest bed with Brenda.  She wants Brenda to go to school with her.  She is patient with Brenda and is remembering that Brenda doesn't speak English.  And Brenda is being so sweet with her.  It makes my heart smile... it then overflows to my face!

Abby has also gone over two weeks without a seizure and we Praise our generous Lord for that gift.  She is on the fourth drug that is milder than topamax and we have gone down on the topamax again and are still holding... and we Praise our precious and generous Lord again for that one too!  Our prayer is that we can get off topamax and the new and milder drug will hold her.  Our prayer is that God has and will continue to heal her... we are claiming that one!

I spoke with the chaperone for Brenda's group yesterday.  She spoke with Brenda on the phone for about ten minutes.  When Brenda gave the phone back to me, she was so sweet and loving to me.  She told me that Brenda loves being with our family, LIKES hanging out with the kids and LOVES the dog!  It made me laugh.  When I told her "thank you" in Latvian... she gasped and giggled and thanked me for saying it.  It was obvious that she was touched I had learned it... really sweet. 

We get to meet her tonight at the New Horizons welcome party.  We'll also get to meet the little boy who is in the foster family with her... Toms.  Oh... we thought she was in an orphanage... but she is in a foster family.  I hope to find out more info tonight on all that!

Be blessed.  And thank you so... so... much for sharing our joy in this... for being a part of this with us.  Our friends have and continue to touch my heart so much as they are so genuine in wanting to know about and be a part of this with us.  It makes me see God everywhere... in all of you... just cheering us along and loving us and smiling with us.  It moves me.  Thank you is just not enough.... so "paldies"... "thank you" in latvian!  "Es tevi milu," "I love you."
Dawn 

Such Sweet Smiles

The girls next door love her!  I think they all fit nicely on the sofa (with my amazing new slip covers from IKEA)!  They were all clamoring to sit next to her.  Fly boy made them hot cocoa, a fire in the fireplace and then we all had the beautiful cookie B brought us from her country!  I love simple pleasures and my fly boy!

B and D

Of course she loves Dusty!

B's Room

Our guest room is B's room for now.  In her little bio we read about her, it mentioned that she would love a pink room.  So, I pulled in some pink to make it special for her.  I bought soft pink flannel sheets with snowmen on them.  I stole a pink pillow from Abby's room to put on the bed.  I put a little pink blanket my grandmother made at the end of the bed.  My friend, Bre, painted a pink heart picture as a gift for her... love... Bre painted love.  Then I added some Christmas items to the dresser.  I found a small tree at the consignment store and put little glitter birds and pink glitter balls on it.  Looking at the picture... it needs a little skirt... pink one of course... I'll get right on that!  I also put the welcome poster on the wall for her.

Then I added pink ribbon and ornaments to the bathroom for another touch of pink and

Christmas in the bathroom.  I love the way it turned out.

She likes it.  She has private, pretty, clean space... and she likes it.  It makes me so very happy.

A Glimpse of Heaven

I think one is very lucky if he or she is given moments of clarity in his or her life.  Big moments.  Little moments.  The understanding, peace and joy that follow are the true treasures of heaven, the breath of the Holy Spirit, and the richness they provide... there is no number large enough to capture the value.

Disappointments seem trivial, BUT remain with purpose.  Lost pregnancies, broken dreams, and fallen tears become precious turns on the path that lies in the very hands of the creator and turn with just the sound of His voice, gently leading you by the hand.  Situations, circumstances, and relationships have woven together and created the beautiful tapistry of your life and they fit together in God's perfect plan to create the most stunning picture.  You are left in awe... with excitement for more... more.

I believe it is a glimpse of heaven.  A tiny window, key hole, that we are given the GIFT to peer into... the sweetest gift from the creator of the universe.

And I believe I am very lucky. 
Dawn

The L Word

I don't have a picture today of what I am about to share.  You'll have to use your imagination.  But I promise to have more photos tomorrow... or even tonight!

Yesterday morning took a turn from what I had planned.  My plan was to take Brenda and Abby shopping to get her some clothes.  She came with one outfit... on her back.  We knew this is how it works and so I was prepared.  Luckily the pajamas I had already bought at the consignment store fit perfectly and she loved them!

So she took a shower.  When she came out of the bathroom with wet hair, I thought, "A mother would fix her hair... I wonder if a woman has ever fixed her hair for her... maybe she will let me."  And so I asked... and she gave me a big smile and sweet knod and we were off to my bathroom for some girl time!

I put some of my gel in her hair, brushed it, and started to dry it with the hair dryer.  Immediately I saw it, them, lice nits in her hair, most of them behind her left ear.  I turned off the hair dryer and asked her to wait one moment for me and went downstairs to tell my Fly Boy.  He was so precious and left to get what we needed.

As I walked back down the hallway to my room, I wondered how in the world I was going to communicate this to her and not hurt her.  How would she take it?  So I went back in and just started pulling them out with my fingers.  I could see she was watching me in the mirror and could tell something was up and so I pulled out a strand with a nit on it and showed it to her.  Then I tried to communicate that it was ok and I was going to get them out.

I went right back to work and started humming.  She started tearing up and then the tears started to fall.  My heart broke into a million gazillion tiny pieces.  I got down on my knees in front of her and wiped her tears and told her "no"... "no tears"... and I smiled.  "It's ok... it's ok," I said but she wouldn't even look at me.  So I kissed her hand and then kissed her cheek and held her.  I was praying that the love would just flow through me and give her peace.  I then went out and pulled up my blog on the laptop so my music playlist could play... and went right back to work... this time singing.

I decided to look all over her head for the little culpret and his buddies.  I wasn't even sure what I was looking for as I have never seen the actual lice itself.  Then, on the other side, there one was... like a little dirty flat piece of rice clinched to her scalp.  AW HAW you little varment!  I got it and showed it to her and she understood and I washed it down the drain and looked for more.  There were NO MORE!  Just one.  And just one side of her head with nits.  I PRAISED the Lord for his sweetness in being so sovreign and letting me find it on the first day! 

My knight came back with the shampoo and when I walked into the bathroom with it... she started to cry again.  I reassured her again, holding her face in my hands and caressing her cheeks... "it's ok" I said.  I stroked the sides of her mouth up into a smile and then put the shampoo on.  As it set for 10 minutes... I painted her nails, gave her some earrings, and introduced her to some yummy body spray I have from Gap.  Then I just sat on the side of the tub and held her... hugged her... and she knew... and I knew she knew.... there was LOVE and peace... and smiles... lots of smiles.

After two hours of combing and picking and going over every inch of her head... I dried her hair and fixed it into two cute messy pony tails with flying sprigs and twists... she loved it.  And I loved her... loved her in every way I knew how to... and she accepted it.

Yesterday morning was the sweetest morning ever.  My husband stripped her bed, washed everything, took care of everything while I had that two hours with her in my bathroom.  A precious little girl got her first dose of God's love in the fullest... and my heart grew about ten sizes.  We then went shopping and had a VERY lucky day at Red Door Consignment Store!  There were many more smiles!

The L word was flowing through the house yesterday... Love... Lots of Love!